Why It's Important to Give Yourself Treats

How are we redefining giving in our prosperous world? What’s making us rethink our forms of giving when we’re having it so good in life? And why do so many successful men leave giving to themselves till who knows when?

Giving thanks
Despite many affairs of the world going downhill and an economy that could be even better many people in many countries are thankful. Unexpected layoffs, financial setbacks, or a desire to spend more time with the near and dear have served as a reality check. A wakeup call for people to rethink their idea of wealth and prosperity. People focus more on satisfaction by the quality of life than on satisfaction by consumption. The big shift is in people questioning whether the ways in which they spend time bring them higher satisfaction than things that need to be done on autopilot. More moneydoesn’t necessarily lead to more happiness. So many people are getting off the hedonistic treadmill and looking for ways to realign with family and other values that matter to them.

Different things to different people
For some people that means starting a business that allows more flexibility even if it means less money. The learning is that money is here today gone tomorrow, but life experiences stay with us. I’ve seen friendships end because people’s coaches said “that’s not the right circle to be in”. Although many people have received similar advice focused on building wealth, they want none of it now. Albeit there will always be people who will focus on accumulating wealth, the focus of more and more people isn’t on pursuing financial wealth, but wealth of experiences.

For others redefining wealth and prosperity may mean downshifting their careers. After almost losing their children and spouses many people trade their high-flying professional careers for simpler jobs. The most ambitious types admit that they’re happy with their decisions, but still sometimes struggle to maintain balance. Their personalities are very driven and to stop working and put the families first is a constant effort. Working as x doesn’t pay as much as did the previous job, but people appreciate more time and holidays with their loved ones. Although these high-flying pros’ former jobs meant frequent travels to nice hotels, they never allowed time to enjoy them.

Giving
In addition to rethinking their careers some people have also scaled back on holiday gifts. Their children get one gift from the parents, one from Santa, and a few from other family members. These people see their friends go crazy with gifts for the kids and believe that this approach just feeds materialism and entitlement. These parents hope to model generosity and selflessness to their kids. So they put money into good causes for their communities instead of buying gifts that would likely gather dust.

While some givers choose donations in lieu of presents, others buy experiential gifts. This option has grown in popularity. Taking a family member out for lunch, treating a friend to a movie, or calling me to give a massage to a spouse or relative are good examples. People give more time-based gifts and make gifts. From the viewpoint of time this is one of the best gifts that someone can give, because it shows that the giver cares about the receiver.

A friend in London made me this series of (pictured) gifts by hand from wood over 30 hours a piece over several years. Would this gentleman go to this extent if he didn’t care about me? Many other friends have given me gifts of experiences: a lunch, dinner, weekend away, show, etc. Others gave me gifts of food, jewellery, and many other things. Artistic friends even gave me cards with poems or verses which they wrote. The poems and verses were symbolic of my personality or connected to my life, etc.

Giving to yourself is important too!
Giving to ourselves reminds us of why we work and that we’re here to enjoy life. It motivates us and brings sparkles into life. It gives us things to look forward to. And that’s important. So once you’ve sorted gifts out for everyone else, how about treating yourself for hard work, being a good citizen, or whatever you achieved? Would a gift to yourself of a few hours of inspiring, entertaining, and caring company hit the spot? Or perhaps even an aromatherapeutic relaxing massage treatment to perk you up? Or even good coaching on a demon that has hampered you for years? If yes, I invite you to be my guest!